a new mysterious man

He was tall broad wore glasses, matured. It's like I've seen him around before but hardly said anything. I was hurting but nobody bothered about me. He came over and gave me a tight hug. I told him "Could you hold me longer?" and he did. I felt a sense of closeness. He wasn't the most good looking person but it sure felt hot and yet warm. He was like the Mc Dreamy in Greys Anatomy. He hardly said anything. Wasn't a talker but expressed himself well. Our noses touched and as I looked up at his eyes, I felt calmer and felt like kissing him to thank him - even imagined it. Somehow to my delight, we started having a hot saucy kiss. One I haven't had for far too long. He was a fantastic kisser and I knew I wanted him.
In the entire dream of weirdness with a little nightmare and action, I kept thinking about this Mc Dreamy of mine. Who is this bloke? and when can I see him again? Where will I meet him?

Today I go to court

As I wake up in the morning, I sigh of disappointment that I have awoken yet again for another day. Today I'm off to court again. I'm not wanting to go but I know I gotta. I feel like my mind has taken over and I'm emotionless. My heart is ready to give up life but my mind constantly pushes me. As you can see, I'm always alone and who would think of me? Who do I matter to anyone. What does it matter? After all, I don't think anyone will notice that I'm missing for awhile. Who the hell is going to miss me? Besides my students not having their lessons.

At court I wait alone. This time this area seemed different. Huge. Cooperate. As I sit alone, I'm ready to cry again. My Barrister wouldn't arrive until 1030am anyways so I still had 30 minutes to find the court room and powder up myself. Then all of a sudden, someone sat beside me and seemed to be facing me. As I looked up, it was him. He was dressed up smartly and as usual I loved his shoes. I've missed him so much and have had battles with myself about him if he was real or true or not. I hadn't reply his msgs and haven't seen him for more than a week so he's decided to see me and check up on me knowing everything from my Barrister. In my heart, I felt calm again and happy but yet again my mind questions his action. I've never been cared for for real and the last person that showed me love was my grandmother. How would I be this lucky to have someone think of me and care for me? How can I be something special to anyone? I've always been left alone to everyone's convenience.
It then started raining. I haven't even looked at my schedule and the location of the place. He took charge as always and looked at my piece of paper. Then dragged me to meet my barrister. We had to go through the rain and somehow I had my luggage of things with me. There we found the court room and my barrister said that he had to do something and would meet me inside.
I needed to put these things in the car quickly so I left the 2 gentlemen.
As I came back, I was lost for abit. There were lots of people and the place was big. I didn't really paid attention to where I was going. I was more of wondering how he really felt about me. I finally found the room but no one was at sight. I started to panic and was ready to cry. I circled the outside of the court room and found no one.
Suddenly I heard my Barrister's voice starting my case. Again I started to panic. "Why did he start without me? Where is ****"
I quickly tried to push myself inside the court room. Scanned around but yet no ****. I didn't want to sit closely next to a stranger but decided I had to sit. I found a place and sat down feeling like my heart dropped. I guess I was imagining him again.
Behind me were a couple of asian children and they couldn't keep their hands off me. Their parents doesn't seem to bother about it. I wasn't in the mood for these nonsense so I got up and stood by the door. I was ready to tear up again when a familiar face walked in. It was him but in jeans and hooty. He was just shopping and decided to wear his new cloths. He looked at me as I looked at him. Who was going to go to whom? And yet again, my feet started moving 1st to his direction and my heart had a sense of relief as my mind kicks the shit out of itself for the actions of my heart. He got a seat and as I walked behind him............

ring!!.... ring!!

"hello?" ......
*sigh* That was my phone. School called and I couldn't make it. It was all a dream. And today is court day.

Diamonds are a girls bestfriend

I was singing this song preparing for my singing lesson. Next thing I know, I'm dreaming about suddenly possessing a small bag full of tiny diamonds. It was a weird dream - the whole process of having these diamonds in my hands without knowing it. Didn't feel like robbery and it didn't feel like anything bad or good. It was just diamonds.
My dreams these days hasn't really been about the future but more of reflection of the present. It's as scary when dreams are connected to our lives. Like I was dreaming of D and feeling jealous when I see the amount of girlfriends he has on facebook and the fact that he contacts them and deletes my comments off his facebook. I dream this happening real life that he was surrounded like pretty women and he was liking the attention and talking to all of them. Later on he came over to me and I started crying and loosing it. Walking away and wanting to forget him. But things eventually worked out and he said that I ment the world to him and it just felt right again.
Now the 2nd part hadn't happen yet at that time. A few weeks later he wanted to see me real life and I said I didn't want to. That it was too complicating and that I feel very confuse with him. I cried so hard just as the dream and I was loosing my mind. But I ended up seeing him and ever since things has just felt right between us or so it seems for now. He didn't say those words I heard in my dream but I felt it in every touch and kiss and look he gave.
I guess that is to show that my dream still reveals the future in it's own way and the fact that I should still continue to understand my dreams further to feel less crook.

dejavu

Dejavu. Yesterday I just felt like I was going through part of my dream. Met a foreign student(exchange), the clothes, her asking me to join them for drinks, the location of this happening....... whoa is right. scary shit.
(I'm always surprised by myself)

singing

It's been a few nights I've been dreaming about singing or my performance.
Will be performing this wednesday night. Kinda excited yet afraid. I've been listening to the music endlessly hoping I don't forget the lyrics and trying to figure out how I want it to sound and stuff.
It in dreams is where I get my ideas. I plan and try things out in my dreams. It's how I get tunes in my head as well. I wake up writing music or with an idea of how things would work out. I don't know how this actually works out but it does.
=)
Jazz... I'll never get sick of jazz.... It's the only kinda music I don't ever get sick of.
Fingers crossed for wed.

singing

Going into my singing career was a dream in Kuching but holidays are over and I’m bck in Sydney conservatorium into my 3^rd year of uni. I wondered how the year would be. Would it be better than the previous year?

It has already been 3 weeks and I was starting to miss singing jazz. Walking down the corridor, I saw this sign. It said they were looking for musicians of any instrument to perform in the big concert. Criteria: confident in performing, improvisation, standard of music, technique.

This was my big chance. Of doing what I’ve always wanted to do: sing! I got a pianist and we practiced like crazy.

Tomorrow’s the big day. Somehow I didn’t feel nervous. I felt like I wouldn’t get a chance to perform. Felt like something might happen. Either I’d chicken out or something but my heart pushed my mind to just keep going. I’ve found my dress and was ready to sing. I choose to sing jazz songs instead of all the classical singers there. It’s different and that’s where I can show my originality.

The big day has come. I was so nervous I could scream. The instruments went 1^st than the singers last. The last examiner came in late that morning. When she went into the exam room I felt like something was wrong. Like the whole thing wasn’t right. My friends were nervous and couldn’t wait to get it all over and done with but I felt like it’s not going to get to us. After the instruments were done, they had a 1 hour break. Instead of a 15 minute. I walked around wondering what was bothering me. I could feel my tummy tossing and turning, telling me that something was definitely wrong. Just then I overheard the examiners discussing about the previous players. They were going to fail them all. Kinda weird not picking the top 3 but they didn’t really want to look into it. I thought it must be really hard to get through. Just as I was about to walk away, I heard them talking about the money (entrance fee). I was shocked. How could this be happening? I just had to tell someone. I had to do something about it. I think I was thinking out loud coz they were all looking my direction. I ran out of there as fast as I could, hoping they didn’t see me.

I told the singers and my friend about what I just found out but no one bothered. I even spoke to a few big ppl about it. Everyone just told me to practice before my audition. They thought I was crazy to tell a story thinking I was making the story up to win. Just then the examiners came out and saw me. They looked angry and looked my direction. It seemed that they were caught red handed by one of the big ppl. Everyone looked at me. Some thought it was entirely my fault and that their chances were blown. Others just looked puzzled.

As the examiners were brought out, I saw their eyes glowed green. No one else seemed to notice it.

I’m doomed....

what happened?

There hasn't been dreams which made strong impact on me or those that hit me strong on the head. Been having little dreams which seemed to come true.
Like my situation with R. dream t that our situation got complicated and we didn't speak to each other. Felt more like I was being cheated and left. And I dream this dream before I bought the ps3 game for him. I had alot of thinking about getting him that game in real life but since I really DO LOVE him, I decided even though my dream comes true and I knew the future, it was something I wanted to do. But my siblings and friends think I'm stupid. That's love i suppose.
Dream t of being a start. Of having my dreams come true and now being bck home in Kuching, I seem to be finding places to perform quite easily even though I've never in my entire life done such a daring thing before. It's like a leap to my dream. Like what my friend said, 'it would suck being your boyfren. You're just so busy and up there'. Maybe that explains me and why R left me.
There are times were I dream of music. I was and am suppose to write a piece for mums choir which I haven't yet completed and is due new year eve. I wake up thinking about it and having heaps of ideas about it. But end up not writing it coz then siblings are up with the tv and mums bck with kolo mee(sarawak food). And right now, I'm too tired from the alcohol I had to even think about writing. Might have to wake up super early just to finish it. It's gonna take me a few hours to put things together. I had some idea before our guest came but I couldn't do much. I just hope I complete everything.
Another night of dreams for me.
Ttyl...