Sunday, January 27, 2008

singing

It's been a few nights I've been dreaming about singing or my performance.
Will be performing this wednesday night. Kinda excited yet afraid. I've been listening to the music endlessly hoping I don't forget the lyrics and trying to figure out how I want it to sound and stuff.
It in dreams is where I get my ideas. I plan and try things out in my dreams. It's how I get tunes in my head as well. I wake up writing music or with an idea of how things would work out. I don't know how this actually works out but it does.
=)
Jazz... I'll never get sick of jazz.... It's the only kinda music I don't ever get sick of.
Fingers crossed for wed.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

singing

Going into my singing career was a dream in Kuching but holidays are over and I’m bck in Sydney conservatorium into my 3rd year of uni. I wondered how the year would be. Would it be better than the previous year?

It has already been 3 weeks and I was starting to miss singing jazz. Walking down the corridor, I saw this sign. It said they were looking for musicians of any instrument to perform in the big concert. Criteria: confident in performing, improvisation, standard of music, technique.

This was my big chance. Of doing what I’ve always wanted to do: sing! I got a pianist and we practiced like crazy.

Tomorrow’s the big day. Somehow I didn’t feel nervous. I felt like I wouldn’t get a chance to perform. Felt like something might happen. Either I’d chicken out or something but my heart pushed my mind to just keep going. I’ve found my dress and was ready to sing. I choose to sing jazz songs instead of all the classical singers there. It’s different and that’s where I can show my originality.

The big day has come. I was so nervous I could scream. The instruments went 1st than the singers last. The last examiner came in late that morning. When she went into the exam room I felt like something was wrong. Like the whole thing wasn’t right. My friends were nervous and couldn’t wait to get it all over and done with but I felt like it’s not going to get to us. After the instruments were done, they had a 1 hour break. Instead of a 15 minute. I walked around wondering what was bothering me. I could feel my tummy tossing and turning, telling me that something was definitely wrong. Just then I overheard the examiners discussing about the previous players. They were going to fail them all. Kinda weird not picking the top 3 but they didn’t really want to look into it. I thought it must be really hard to get through. Just as I was about to walk away, I heard them talking about the money (entrance fee). I was shocked. How could this be happening? I just had to tell someone. I had to do something about it. I think I was thinking out loud coz they were all looking my direction. I ran out of there as fast as I could, hoping they didn’t see me.

I told the singers and my friend about what I just found out but no one bothered. I even spoke to a few big ppl about it. Everyone just told me to practice before my audition. They thought I was crazy to tell a story thinking I was making the story up to win. Just then the examiners came out and saw me. They looked angry and looked my direction. It seemed that they were caught red handed by one of the big ppl. Everyone looked at me. Some thought it was entirely my fault and that their chances were blown. Others just looked puzzled.

As the examiners were brought out, I saw their eyes glowed green. No one else seemed to notice it.

I’m doomed....